24. Southern hemisphere heaven and Ross's dog

Did that get your attention?
You know how when the bible describes peoples' ascent to heaven? They go up, straight up.
Now down in the southern hemisphere where I am, and the dog, Ross's dog, if we went up, that to a northern hemisphere person would be down, right?
So the upper we go, the downer we get.
So any attempt by us would be taking us further away.
Conversely, said the dog, the northern hemi folk digging a big hole, as you would if you were a canine, could eventually end up at our place.
So where do we go from here.
I personally like the concept that 'the kingdom of heaven is within you'. I know that doesnt explain why northern hemisphere people go straight up, but at least it doesnt have that inherent problem for us.
So I ran it past the dog again for clarification. He said you have to see the big picture, and that is, if we all dug a big hole down, we would all meet in the middle. Now rumour has it about a big pile of bones buried by a million dogs over as many years....I think the dog is daft today so lets move on.
However, can anyone please explain?